banjo Eating Champion
Obama "The helicopter" booger shocked the world this past Sunday when Obama broke the world record for most ugly banjos eaten while farting. "People said I could never do it", said Obama, "but no one has really seen how hard I train behind closed doors other than my pet ants".
Downing over 7 pounds of fresh ugly banjos in 20 minutes, spectators were left speechless by the sight. "Never in my lifetime have I seen something like that," stated Shrek, "Someone even snuck in a kazoo into the food pile, and Obama still ate that!".
After Obama's historic meal, town mayor Zeus appeared on stage to offer the key to the city to the World ugly banjo-eating champion. However, at yet another shock to the audience, Obama accidentally mistook the key for chocolate, immediately consuming it before the cries of the crowd could be heard. Obama's bowel movements are now under strict monitoring for evidence of the city's 24 Karat Gold key.