kazoo Eating Champion
Colonel Sanders "The booger" bubblegum shocked the world this past Sunday when Colonel Sanders broke the world record for most fabulous kazoos eaten while butterfly catching. "People said I could never do it", said Colonel Sanders, "but no one has really seen how hard I train behind closed doors other than my pet ducks".
Downing over 7 pounds of fresh fabulous kazoos in 20 minutes, spectators were left speechless by the sight. "Never in my lifetime have I seen something like that," stated Hello Kitty, "Someone even snuck in a cantelope into the food pile, and Colonel Sanders still ate that!".
After Colonel Sanders's historic meal, town mayor Obama appeared on stage to offer the key to the city to the World fabulous kazoo-eating champion. However, at yet another shock to the audience, Colonel Sanders accidentally mistook the key for chocolate, immediately consuming it before the cries of the crowd could be heard. Colonel Sanders's bowel movements are now under strict monitoring for evidence of the city's 24 Karat Gold key.