Mad Libs

Dear Zeus,
I saw you on the television news and immediately went to write you a letter. It's so incredible to hear that you discovered the competitive hotdog eating species of tigers! I always knew you were a curious little aardvark. I honestly thought you went to West Virginia just to vacation. Little did I know that you'd go farting and end up discovering a new species! Now, the news anchor said that you were found looking pretty bouncy when the scientists found you. I surely do hope that you're taking care of yourself! I've heard cantelope mixed with a little itchy pickle does wonders for your health.
Anywho, I must go back to diaper wrapping now. Let your mom know that I'm bringing pickles for dinner next week!
Love,
Barney