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Dear Thomas Edison,
I saw you on the television news and immediately went to write you a letter. It's so incredible to hear that you discovered the butterfly catching species of cats! I always knew you were a curious little cantelope. I honestly thought you went to Baskin Robbins just to vacation. Little did I know that you'd go Mario Karting and end up discovering a new species! Now, the news anchor said that you were found looking pretty itchy when the scientists found you. I surely do hope that you're taking care of yourself! I've heard pickle mixed with a little bouncy aardvark does wonders for your health.
Anywho, I must go back to competitive hotdog eating now. Let your mom know that I'm bringing aardvarks for dinner next week!
Love,
Colonel Sanders