Your Groundbreaking Discovery
As told by your loving Auntie
Dear Bart,
I saw you on the television news and immediately went to write you a letter. It's so incredible to hear that you discovered the DJ-ing species of tigers! I always knew you were a curious little booger. I honestly thought you went to Baskin Robbins just to vacation. Little did I know that you'd go diaper wrapping and end up discovering a new species! Now, the news anchor said that you were found looking pretty bouncy when the scientists found you. I surely do hope that you're taking care of yourself! I've heard bubblegum mixed with a little sparkly kazoo does wonders for your health.
Anywho, I must go back to Mario Karting now. Let your mom know that I'm bringing kazoos for dinner next week!
Love,
Zeus